Martian Dreams (Prisoner of Infinity VI)

Martian dreams

Images by Lucinda Horan, except where indicated

“[W]here the inner world is filled with violent aggression, primitive defenses are present also. More specifically, we now know that the energy for dissociation comes from this aggression. . . . It seems that as the unbearable (traumatic) childhood experience, or something resembling it in the transference [i.e., during psychotherapy], begins to emerge into consciousness, an intra-psychic figure or ‘force,’ witnessed in the patient’s dreams, violently intervenes and dissociates the psyche.
Donald Kalsched, The Inner World of Trauma

My aim with this exploration has been to uncover the self-protecting traumatic secret hidden behind Strieber’s narrative—and by extension my own—in order to unlock it. This inevitably runs the risk of being as invasive—and as uninvited—as an alien rectal probe. If Strieber has constructed a line of defense against seeing the true nature of his experiences—or at least a central aspect of them, one that changes everything about them—then he has done so for good reasons. Tearing down that psychological wall might prove harmful—to him, and therefore to me.

Chapel Perilous is not just any ordinary hall of mirrors; the mirrors are perfectly aligned to create an infinity of reflections, with nothing in between. To really see what’s (not) there does not mean to shatter the mirror—that would only leave us with a collection of dangerous fragments and a lifetime’s bad luck. It means to disappear from view, to become pure perception, without either subject or object because there is no perceivable difference between the two. The author, the subject, and the reader, all vanish into an infinite progression, leaving only the space behind. That is the picture I am trying to hold up to the light, without my shadow getting in the way. It is a picture of infinite space, not only out there but in here. The psyche, as within, so without.

When writing psycho-history, the meanings don’t make themselves available like ordinary facts and figures. They have to be teased out and then they need to be apprehended, not only with the intellect and the intuition, but with the total body. This exploration is attempting to present the “lost body” of Strieber’s work and of my own life simultaneously. With any luck, the vesica piscis of our two psyches as they overlap will act as an opening onto the collective psyche. But this will only happen through an accurate superimposition of material. If it is more than slightly off, the image will be fuzzy and blurred, and the reader will see only a double distortion.

To spell it out too much means losing the finer meanings that is the subtle body of the analysis. If I don’t spell it out enough, those meanings might never been recognized. It is like walking a razor’s edge, the razor’s edge that Strieber is walking: the edge between “worlds,” between the madness of denial and the insanity of going off the deep end. We are walking it together.

What I’ve done for this chapter is to take a leaf out of Whitley’s book. I have turned the focus around and taken it outward, to the stars, specifically to Mars, a planet which Strieber has shown a consistent interest in. Conversely, with fearful symmetry and not without hesitation, I will once again be probing into Whitley’s childhood experiences. In The Secret School, he describes his ninth year, in 1954, receiving nine lessons from a being, or beings, he later identified as the visitor(s), as part of a group of children being tutored in a sort of cosmic consciousness, beyond space and time. In the first of these lessons, he describes visiting Mars—in non-physical form—and seeing the (now famous) “face on Mars,” followed by an encounter with a Martian nun (whom he later identifies as the female visitor he was reintroduced to in 1985). This brings three elements together into a single narrative: Strieber leaving his body (dissociation) as a child; his encounter with the visitors; and his first being seeded with an interest in Mars. Strieber describes how, partially due to the influence of sci-fi movies, he became obsessed with the planet Mars as a child and staged fantasy enactments of being transported there. He recounts in great detail an out-of-body vision of flying above the surface of Mars. In it, he feels a great loneliness and a desire to be back with his parents:

The hollowness that fills children when they are far away tormented me. I could not let myself think about home: I was looking for something and I had to find it because failing would be very terrible. Still, I sure wanted to be home with Momma and Daddy (p. 5).


Art by Joseph Stodgel


To read full essay, order Prisoner of Infinity: UFOs, Social Engineering, and the Psychology of Fragmentation

12 thoughts on “Martian Dreams (Prisoner of Infinity VI)

  1. Every installment you write helps me on my personal journey! Some of my own piecing together of info has revealed to me, the reason, perhaps, for the report to anal probing/intercourse by “aliens”. A technique for causing the “split”, is to hyper stimulate both sides of the autonomic nervous system at the same time. The sympathetic (fight-or-flight) and the parasympathetic (relax, reproduce). As the conflicting neuro-chemo messages flood the hypothalamus the “mystical” pineal gland, is believed to be effected. From my own research I’ve discovered that some tantric/kundalini raising practices are based on this technique. Surely it is nothing new. Anton S. Lavey, founder of the Church of Satan, suggests two different exersises that demonstrate this technique. From his Satanic Bible (1969), his Lycanthrope and from his, The Compleat Witch, his Scarlet Woman. As for my own practice, I’ve found it to be an intense experience. Whether it works, I don’t know. Doing it to others without explicit consent is extreme abuse. Doing it to children is abominable.

    • Posted at 2:22!

      Every installment you write helps me on my personal journey!

      That’s really the best response I can hope for. On the other material relating to Kundalini activation via anal penetration, it’s a subject I touch upon with the next podcast but one (53), though I hadn’t made this direct correlation until reading your comment, as obvious as it seems to be, now that I have made it.

  2. I wish I could participate – fisher king thing – but “something’s suddenly come up”.

    Something. Ow, my leg.

    “iPhones ‘disabled’ if Apple detects third-party repairs – notorious “error 53″ bricks phones after non- Apple repairs”

    And, I am a dummy… after all!

    The Serpent = God intercepted. An illegal move.
    God = the Whole talking Apple. Not knowing sin.

    I think I’ll take a walk outside now…

  3. How important is the personal experience of a repressed memory to understanding the phenomenon and serious consideration of experiences such as Strieber’s? I know I had one because the evidence was revealed to me on audio tape; a conversation between myself and another person with about ten other people present.

    The conversation was embarrassing and probably dangerous in certain settings and I guess to the point of traumatic; that must be why I repressed it?

    So believe what you want about alien abduction; but the phenomenon of repressed memory due to trauma is all too real. In my case it was not some “shrink” drawing it out of me with hints and cues… It was myself on an hour long audio tape. I remembered everything except the 60 second section that disturbed me.

    Finding out you had a repressed memory is also disturbing

    • I have not yet had this experience but I do not doubt it exists, how could it not, since we know that there are huge gaps in our recall and those memories must be somewhere. What I doubt in the case of Strieber is how much his memories of alien interference may be screen memories; Strieber assumes that there is only one screen, but who knows how many layers the psyche can be made to have if the trauma is great enough and the intelligence interfering with us devious and skilled enough?

  4. “Strieber mentions having been acquainted with Richard C. Hoagland, whom he met through Gliedman in 1984…” Thanks for this connection. I knew Hoagland (heavily promoting “breakaway civilization”) had to be involved but couldn’t place him.

    You mention the absent father in much of your work….. curiously, this theme has been circulating at least since Homer(?) wrote the ‘Odyssey’ about Odysseus hesitantly leaving his infant son and wife to fight in the Trojan war. Trouble arises on his journey home after the war and temptation leads him to being a sex slave to Circe and then to Calypso for 10 years. Odysseus eventually returns home to his faithful wife Penelope and son after 20 years…….. a broken man. Something about this story is very relevant.

    Enjoy your writings!

  5. Richard C. Hoagland created a great niche for himself between the pro NASA crowd and the Apollo hoax people by saying, “yes we walked on the moon; but NASA lied about it.” By doing so he is able to sell his books to both groups.

    I value the work done by all the Apollo moon landing = hoax people; but the movement has one major flaw that tends to discredit it. All the well known figures; Ralph Rene, Bart Sibrel, Bill Kaysing even Mark Magowan… all tend to get snarky and sarcastic with their presentations, and this behavior is distracting from their scholarship and quite unnecessary. This behavior has become the dominant culture among those who do this type of study and exploration.

    Its very annoying when EVERYBODY does it.

    I wish these people would just let their facts speak for themselves and leave the name calling and obvious contempt for those who lack confidence in their position and presentation.

    Marcus Allen is probably the most objective presenter; but even he gets butt hurt at times and falls back on arguments of personal incredulity.

    The other issue is the lack of new “evidence” among the Apollo hoax crowd. They all keep repeating the same points when there are so many fresh areas of investigation that are not being mined.

    For example, were the moon rocks allegedly brought back to Earth from the Apollo 11 mission weighed before they were loaded aboard the lunar module?

    If not, how did they calculate their thrust and burn time to catch the orbiting command module? To me, this type of information is far more important and revealing than a flag that looks like its waving in a vacuum…

  6. Not to turn this into a moon landing hoax thread; but I just wanted to provide another example of the necessity for the production of fresh and original evidence regarding moon landing hoax debates, discussions, presentations…

    Since about 2012, most of the content being produce are derivatives of a relatively small amount of source material from pre internet authors (see the WIKI page on the subject) The Apollo photo analysis work done by people like Marcus Allen was a fresh exception. For several years Ive been attempting to come up with what I think are fresh/new un asked questions designed to reveal inconstancies and contradictions in the official NASA Apollo moon landings narrative. Im NOT claiming them as any kind of PROOF of a moon landing hoax; but should they go unanswered due to a lack of data; they should be entered into the body of evidence people use to resolve the issue one way or another.

    I present for consideration the following question:

    1. Does ANY film or video of the Apollo 11 crew inside the lunar module POST moon walk exist?

    If so, has anyone seen it?

    There are several reasons I think this question is important and relevant.

    1. If the landing/walk was faked; it would be much more difficult to fake 1/6th gravity inside the lunar module in “shirt sleeves” than to fake it in a space suit on the moon (with your face hidden, wires attached…)

    2. Meaning and insight occur AFTER the successful completion of dangerous, highly technical, time critical mission. Anyone who has done rock climbing, technical diving, or even military combat knows the real discussions take place AFTER the mission, when you can relax and reflect on what just occurred; what you just survived… in other words; IN THE LOCKER ROOM.

    Hi fives, bro hugs, rebel yells, lookin out the window of the lunar module using some well earned profanity… we saw none of that?

    Why not?

    I suspect the reason is because 1/6th gravity is/was too dificult to fake inside the lunar module.

    Even the phone call from president NIxon was not taken inside the lunar module, on the moons surface with their helmets off?

    In my opinion, the lack of interior video or film of the crew inside the lunar module on the moons surface constitutes probable cause for me to suspect the initial and/or all subsequent Apollo moon landings were faked.

    If anyone knows of such material, please feel free to correct the record.

    • It’s somewhat relevant as Strieber was close friends with Edgar Mitchell who advocated his work, as well as promoted the Overview Effect, which will come up in Part Two.

  7. Having now read The Super Natural, Strieber writes for perhaps the first time about being made to perform cunnilingus on the female visitor, thereby confirming my interpretation of his encounter with the Martian Sister of Mercy: “Her hands came onto my head like tendrils of smoke, the hands of a ghost, but they were paradoxically strong and pressed me towards her lap. She opened her legs and I saw a darkness within. Not entire darkness, though. There was a glow there too. She drew my head gently down.” (p. 140-41)

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