I recently looked up the word insurrection and decided it was a good one for the sort of writing I do, or at least try to do.
This week—during the partial lull of the Kubrick Brain Storm—I have been working on a piece for another author’s site about consensual perception and how to escape it.
This is the abiding, presiding, overriding focus of everything I do. It was behind my recent split with the spiritual group I was part of, and it’s the underlying theme and focus in the Kubrick exploration.
Like Jesus Christ, split every atom in me and you will find it there, this burning question.
So insurrection (not resurrection) for me has to do with splitting off from the involuntary formation of consensual perception and venturing into the wilderness outside the herd, then bringing back field reports of what I have found, into the dominant perceptual framework.
This is what I have recently termed “liminalism,” and/or “arguments for the impossible.”
This would be a foolhardy or courageous endeavor—since it is not only by definition impossible but also potentially suicidal—were it not for the fact that it is involuntary. I am not and have never been able to blend in with the herd or carve myself a niche in the consensus/mainstream; so my ongoing experiences of failing to do so have guaranteed a regular return to the margins and beyond, since I am not comfortable in the margins, and also since my attempts to break the membrane of consensual perception usually cause a ricochet effect, bouncing me further outside than I started—or whatever. I am getting confused now because it seems as if my struggle is both to break IN to consensual reality (get noticed) and break OUT—become/forge a fully autonomous self.
But whatever! Apparently two seemingly mutually exclusive trajectories mirror and complement each other. I don’t know how, but fuck it. Onward, mutiny, give me freedom from the shackles of consensual perception, or give me death!
And then comes the latest development as if to test my resolve and push it to the sticking place: my publisher, Zer0 Books, has just undergone its own insurrection movement, as the founding participants abandon the good ship Zero and form their own company, the “consequence of a long standing antagonism with the ownership of John Hunt Publishing, our parent company.”
Which begs the question, is every insurrection event a coming of age story?
The fact this occurred at the precise moment Seen & Not Seen is about to be released (it went to the printers this week) cannot, surely, be attributed to mere coincidence. Cannot and will not!
Rather than be discouraged by what may be a major setback, I choose to see it as negative reinforcement.
With this groundhog’s emergence comes the Spring, and no wonder if all the forces of Winter gather together to prevent it from happening. But to no avail! Not even the darkest shadow can stop me now!
Meantime, back in the real world, the cold water pipe to the kitchen has frozen, without my consent.
While the groundhog barks, reality bites.