Red Carpet Cess Pit

I was pointed to a new, very short and unremarkable piece about my brother today, May Day, at Dangerous Minds website, called “JESUS STOLE MY ACT AND OTHER TALES OF SEBASTIAN HORSLEY.”

What got my attention however was the first comment, linking it to my “undercover” explorations of my past at the Rigorous Intuition forum!

I have commented at the post, in response to the article and then to another comment about my brother’s life being a work of subversive art – an idea I find questionable.

I mention it as it’s a new experience, to discuss Sebastian’s work and image in public with his fans (one of them anyhow). I guess DM is a sort of occult-tinged mainstream site? (There’s a Crowley article in the sidebar – about Tom Driberg!)

Lots more going on, too much to keep up this blog, hence the unfinished longer piece. Maybe this Sunday, if I find time…


7 thoughts on “Red Carpet Cess Pit

    • It’s perhaps the result of how rigid the narrative he created was – that writers trying to sum it up are forced to “ape” his style and even use his own phrases verbatim? Any departure from it would cause the cracks to start to appear.

  1. OMG, he worked at a rehab for prisoners… and your Dad was also involved in helping prisoners.. I’m really sorry…

    after listening to the tape of your brother speaking: though….I obviously have no idea of the reality of what you have gone through… and it couldn’t be something in my knowledge /experience;;;

    It rang to something personal for me, since, Lately I’ve suffered with a charming talented glib poet, who is being lauded by the local , social literary community… He was librarian / editor for the “Occupy Wall St” …and wrote a memoir of his life as a teenager called “Parasite” Was introduce by a mutual friend as someone I might have things in common with : politics ; poetry readings; and we both are outside social convention.

    I don’t know what to believe now: that he ever told me — He doesn’t remind me of your brother – But, something of the tenor of it, rings to my recent let – down , betrayal by someone I thought was a friend..I’m in the midst of a court case with him now.. So it’s very fresh.

    . I am very sorry for you, about your brother.

    The fact my ex-friend is a talented writer, does create “glamor” and is a psy- op , from a social and individual (if you let it) point of view – since it does gloss over something hurtful and repugnant.. (Lately some artists in the neighborhood have taken to hanging carcasses from the ceiling on hooks, as per a butcher shop, but larger pieces, looks like human , wrapped in plastic.

    I think finding beauty in horror must be, partly at least, a learned response.)

    Anyway, I am just lucky I was not in a position to be more harmed, than I already was, by this “Bad News” talent. , in my own life. (No way you could tell ahead of time that seemingly every other word, in telling stories of the past, out of his mouth, was a lie… No way you could know that without knowing him well.)
    Here I’ve written about the experience :

  2. I had experience growing up in Los Angeles , learning to find beauty in architecture and city structures, landscapes which are pretty ghastly.. There was a moment when I remember it happened… Looking at Century City riding on my bicycle to school, looking up, and recognizing a weird beauty in what I had before, only hated.

    I feel lately I’ve been sensing memories related to places. and very vivid memories.. I am not sure what jumped out at me here, but I felt sorrow at your brother..

    My oldest sister, Judith, who I adored, was a junkie and heavy drinker.. She died at 37, when I was 21.. She ran away to Puerto Rico when I was under 5 years, or some time like that.. I never knew her til she came home for a while, several times, when I was around nine.. She showed up for good about my last year in High School. We had a special rapport. And we didn’t hear from her for a long time, but one stoned phone call, per year. My Mom had prayer groups working for her safety.

    . She gave up drugs and drink six years before she finally died and joined the “program” with my Mom. She said that she had made up her mind she was going to die for a very long time, and that she did not stop drinking etc. to avoid death. Her own reason was: she didn’t want to die throwing up blood..

    My Mom was a prominent counselor of Alcoholics after she herself became sober.for many years, and had a saying “People do what they want. And make up the reasons afterward”.

    Anyway, we got a few years with my sister, Judith..

    She gave me an art work, print, I have on my wall now. It’s torn and lost its frame.. And I don’t really like the work, per se. But I won’t give (or throw it) away. She said she wanted me to have real art..So I keep it because she gave it to me..

    The doctors who saw her at the end were amazed she was still alive. She lived way beyond when they were saying she should be dead [ considering the readings they were getting on her blood]

    She had a spiritual experience right before she died..

    .I do miss her.

    . My whole life I have missed her..She called me the night before she died to tell me everything was all right.. And that I wasn’t to feel bad about anything, between us.. She had been going to counseling groups for people who know they are dying. It was a bad case of Hep C.

    And then there was my boyfriend / fiancee who killed himself when I was 24, and thereby, changed the course of my entire life.. I mourned him with violent intensity for at least one full year… And remember the Jacaranda tree blooms of purple. in May, came out right after he died.. It was a very deep shock for me and everything in life took a different course because of it.. I have a lot of journals/ scrap books from the time then, even now still. Still in my room!. I processed my feelings through collecting scraps of paper and sayings….

    Writing all this, and then reading what I wrote, is making me feel very “Victorian” (Yes, I was called “quaint ” but not recently.) I used to read “Elsie Dinsmore” -if you know what that is.. A girl’s book from the nineteenth c. [and yes, she fell in love with and married her “uncle” She might have fell in love a 12.. But , um, the exact unfolding of her relationship with uncle / husband / father – was very unclear.] I did not “get” the uncle – love part when I was a child.. I loved the book. But it had to be morbid… She was always shedding tears over Christ.. OMG]

    Grandmother was born in 1886 and had a copy of “Evangeline” by Longfellow at her place… which , if you read between the lines, is very kinky, as I see it… consonant with the “Assault on Truth” book by Masson I referred to earlier., I’m re – looking at that book as a result of our conversations.

  3. A most intriguing Family. Your Grandfather on up thru your late Brother Sebastian. The interacting with an elite network of influentials from your Dad’s lineage and neighborhoods. Fascinating to read the connections, an aristocracy, a sort of literary, occult, fraternity, rituals, far-out organizations established code and password into higher forces, the occult, closer to Lucifer, by any means, than God. Or the Christ heads it would seem to me. I read my own life and times and culture and neighborhoods and bloodline against yours– nite and day eh. I suppose if I tried real hard and researched I could come up with a network of family, some of whom were involved in the founding of . . . more than just footnotes to 20th Century innovations, whatnot, at least, Maybe discover even some weird cultish things they were involved in, though I can’t even imagine. We are a pretty traditional network of family. American as Apple Pie, eh. Oh, a few pirates therein but to tell you the truth I really know of none. Miscreants, louses, sure, goes without saying. Thieves, on the married into side of the family. The Adam’s family, and I don’t mean the double ‘d’ cartoon, we lay claim, cousins ten times removed. That is according what little I know. The analogies surely would be a reach, your family, mine.

    Right now I am almost embarrassed to talk this way. Comparing families. Expecially considering the Horsley high institutional history and schooling. What gall eh. On my Mother’s side, however, her first husband was a dairy farmer. But yes, surely I could make story out of my folks network from root America leading to me but I won’t since I don’t operate myself that way. Writing in that angle manifesting a straightforward ‘investigative’ content like you are doing, midst the suspense story approach you are using in this instance, exploring then revealing your family network. Consequent revealing sort of why you is as you is. I have not the hard edged urge to find out why I AM as I AM, due family. Not in your sense anyway. I am interested in the ‘blood’ that gives me life as I AM, allows me to live as my ‘program’ dictates. So there is a relationship there I guess. But it would be like from another world. Your England. My America far as family life is concerned. Now if I was from an old line Massachusetts Lowell poet lineage, abolitionist Cotton Merchant and a child of Trust, maybe then . . .

    The DANGEROUS MINDS site interview, your Brother Sebastian being interviewed was of course delightful, fascinating, most revealing. From what ‘attitude’ Sebastan was coming off at the time, a man at odds perhaps but I am not going to presume to explore that, hah. Sabastian is a performer alright. Playing his part especially perfect. Unique, original, all his own doing. Costuming, the top hat he keeps refitting to his head, eluding stage climate Dickens, is remarkable stage wear/ware. And of course I read ‘you’ from your Brother. More than just a physiognomy resemblance. You seem somewhat more in control and have sort of gone against your Brother’s grain far as overtness, being more a pulled back perfomer. You must miss your Brother Sebastian terribly. How unfortunate the fate he partiipated in full force took him away from those folks who love him.

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