Conflicted Narratives and the Heavy Cost of Trauma


There’s a post from WS’s site from 2009 which I just came upon, in which he writes about his experience with the visitors, called “The Anguish and Pain of My Rape.”

There is just so much wrong with what WS is saying here that I don’t know where to begin and am not sure I even should. But here goes.

“On that night in 1985, a device called an electroejaculator was forced into my rectum, tearing it on the left side. At the time, I had no idea what was happening to me, or why, in the context of such a horrific experience, I would suddenly have an erection. I then experienced ejaculation and watched helplessly as what I can only describe as a monster collected my ejaculate and took it away.”

WS is talking here about the female being on the cover of Communion, whom he calls in another post “the greatest master I have ever known” — and whom he considers to be his other wife.

Here he calls her a monster.

This is only the most obvious contradiction. More specifically, WS is describing the use of a very archaic technology (first used in 1948) that is quite unnecessarily brutal if we consider that, on other occasions, his “visitors” are able to elicit responses from him by the most mysterious and subtle means imaginable.

It has become very clear to me that Strieber is mistaking a human agency for a non-human one. I would say that it is absolutely unequivocal – which raises the question of how it’s possible that Strieber cannot see something that is so very obvious?

The answer is that he is not thinking rationally. Yet WS can and does write very lucid, reasonable passages, even entire books. He is regarded by many people (I assume all of his followers) as a rational and coherent individual.

What I am having to face up to is that Strieber is a deeply traumatized individual who is wrestling with experiences that have left him unable to make coherent sense of them, and of either reality or himself.

This isn’t a pretty picture to paint of anyone, and it’s very difficult to do so without it seeming critical. It’s very hard not to want to be critical, when Strieber’s assertions are so fierce, his convictions so rigid and unbending, and when he is managing to persuade hundreds, maybe thousands, of people, that his view of reality (re: the contact experience) is a valid and coherent one.

Please wake up, Whitley! It’s not.

Next up:men3

“I also recall the horrific mental anguish that I felt when I began to see the rectal probe jokes on Southpark. Seeing ‘Catman Gets an Anal Probe’ was like having acid poured down my throat. I relived the rape as I watched, horrified, at what was being done to me. And it was being done to me, specifically. The writers of the program were amusing themselves and their audience with my rape. . . .The visitors brutalized me on that night. But they only raped my body. My heart and soul were raped by people like Matt Stone, Trey Parker and Craig Ferguson.”

Say what? Is Strieber kidding with this shit? Bear in mind this outrage is coming from someone who has written glowing descriptions of beings tormenting humans in order to harness their own energy supply, who then calls the beings “angels.” From someone who has made a career, and millions of dollars, from constantly re-dramatizing his own traumatic experiences by turning them into various forms of horror fiction and alleged non-fiction, audio recordings and public appearances.

Yet watching a 20 minute cartoon for kids (sort of) is like having acid poured down his throat?

I’m sorry to be blunt but – that’s just fucking nuts.

“I never lied about anything that happened to me, and I am not wrong, either. The visitors are real, they are incredibly powerful and tough, they are taking our sexual material and nobody can do a thing about it.”

Strieber can’t have it both ways. Either he is the victim of a brutal act of physical and psychological rape, or he is the ambassador of an evolutionary agency bringing about fantastic new experiences of ourselves and reality. The only way he can have it both ways is by arguing that being raped by monsters is good for you. Tragically, this is exactly what Strieber is arguing.

Strieber compares himself to a rape victim in this post and demands he be treated as one.

OK. So would a rape victim create a ministry out of being raped, venerate his or her rapists as “masters,” and present the ordeal as “peak experience” that everyone should have, and can have, if they open themselves to it? (Remember that in 1986 Strieber had friends to his cabin so they could “share in the contact experience”!)

A rape victim who did these things would quickly be recognized as exhibiting delusional behavior due to trauma. End of story.

The indication seems painfully clear to me: a deeply traumatized psyche wrestling to deal with its experiences employs unconscious subterfuges to turn them into something “beneficial.” Strieber learned to “love [his] tormentors” and that unconscious subterfuge has, over the years, become the basis for a spiritual-scientific philosophy of alien contact in which torture and abuse by monsters is for our own good.


“In February of 1986, I started going out into the woods around my house at night, trying to confront them. And they did respond. I ended up in a sort of school, taught by masters and monsters, a dangerous, complicated, immeasurably fulfilling and terrifying school. I am still in that school, still learning, and trying to bring to my apply [sic] my Christian belief in the sanctity of man and the promise of resurrection to my experience. You come face to face with the visitors, and you immediately come also to know what incredible power there is in the gospels, and how the way of being that they propose is the ideal state in which to transform even the most vile bullies and rapists into sublime teachers. Because I did that. Despite appearances, I reached out to them and the gate was unlocked for me.”

What gate is he referring to here?

Something out of H.P. Lovecraft?


This is some deeply disturbing, terrifying shit, and Strieber’s catholic conditioning seems to have provided him with the perfect context for turning demons into angels. In his own mind, they are purging him.

Yet the “purging” has not brought peace to his troubled psyche.

“I say most, because some of the ones I met–two, to be precise–had a startling humanity about them. One of them–the one who was in control of me during the rape, in fact–became the main character in a story I wrote shortly after the event, called Pain.’ In the story, this being is an angel who purifies the soul by inducing great suffering.”

Apparently Strieber’s high-tolerance for abusive agencies doesn’t include the creators of South Park. But then, they didn’t only pour acid down his throat with their vicious bad taste, they messed with his book sales!

“Prior to that, my book sales had been declining because of all the negative publicity, but after that program aired they literally plummeted, with the icing on the cake being the Parade story. I found I could not get a publisher. I ended up in bankruptcy court. I lost all my books, a collection that it had taken my whole life to build. I lost the cabin. I lost everything.”

All that from one little cartoon? It must be nice to have someone to blame. By a massively elaborate, unconscious sleight of hand, Strieber’s abusers become his saviors, and a couple of guys who made a funny little cartoon about aliens which wounded Whitley’s pride (and seriously impacted his book sales? I don’t think so, Strieber isn’t even mentioned in the episode)  — become soul rapers.

I have to be frank. Working on this piece has given me what’s known as “compassion fatigue.” I am finding it very hard to keep up with what I am discovering about Strieber and how deeply damaged he is, as a person, and the profound wrongness of what he is propagating. It’s wrong not morally but in the simplest and acutest sense of the word: false, delusional, and harmful, not so much to others (though I think that too), but to himself.

Today is Strieber’s 68th birthday, so there’s that number again — 68. What’s it mean?

I feel exhausted by this project. Drained, oppressed, almost sullied. There must be a light at the end of the tunnel. Unless its caved in and I wound up following the wrong trail of clues and now it’s too late to turn back? Sometimes I think I can see the light. Sometimes I think all this matters in some way, that it’s leading to a whole new understanding that will change the way people think about UFOs, the paranormal, everything.

Then I think: doesn’t that sound like something Whitley Strieber would say?


Happy birthday, Whitley. I sincerely hope we both can find peace some day.


7 thoughts on “Conflicted Narratives and the Heavy Cost of Trauma

  1. My personal opinion of Whitley is that he has a sort of Stockholm Syndrome in relation to the beings he talks about. I think they mess with his mind to create propaganda and the bipolarity in his writings is his rational mind fighting against their brainwashing. If you take into context a lot of the alien abduction research literature, it’s possible he’s really had contact with extra-concensual beings. Either that, or he’s just got a wild imagination, is schizophrenic, delusional or all of the above.

    I can see greys using advanced things like time traveling UFO’s and psychic manipulation, telepathy and invisibility but when it comes to collecting physical sperm, maybe the easiest way is to just physically scoop it up? Rather than teleport it out of the body or something like that.

    >>>WS is talking here about the female being on the cover of Communion, whom he calls in another post “the greatest master I have ever known” — and whom he considers to be his other wife.

    Here he calls her a monster.<<<
    -From what I know of married couples, if you replace [master] with [wife] and [monster] with [witch], then that's not that uncommon. (joke).

    I don't know if you're trying to debunk all the alien stories and information out there. I know this is a psychological piece about WS, but if anyone's looking for better understanding of the alien phenomenon I would suggest other researchers like Karla Turner, David Jacobs, Eve Lorgen, Montalk, Barbara Bartholic, Carissa Conti, James Bartley, William Baldwin, John Keel, Orfeo Angelucci ("SOTS" is a beautiful story of higher positive beings), Mac Tonnies, Truman Cash and Budd Hopkins as well as experiencers like Fore (amazingly comprehensive and high quality) and Susan Reed.

  2. Jacobs and Hopkins??

    Can you possibly have missed the damning findings around these researchers? Time to dig a little deeper?

    We believe what we want to believe.

    I’m not debunking the idea of nonphysical beings interacting with the psyche and even manifesting physically. What I am saying is that you can’t leave the psyche out of it without removing all context from what you’re supposedly investigating.

    That’s ufology in a nutshell – beliefs (and endless factoids) without context.

    • With Hopkins, it’s hard to discredit all his work just because of the angry ravings of an ex wife.

      With Jacobs, I don’t think he handled that notorious case the best, but I don’t think it discredits all of the research.

      I definitely try to get a feel for the author and analyze their personality while taking into account what they’re saying, judging their credibility and what their motivations are.

  3. Hey I was reading this passage just now and I immediately thought of this blog. It’s from Cracks In The Great Wall by Charles Upton:

    >>>>>>>We tend to identify the most powerful things that
    have ever happened to us with ‘reality’ itself. The daughter raped by her father will carry this experience in her
    psyche as an indelible reference point, which in later life may lead her to demonize and/ or idealize other men in
    whom she sees, or upon whom she projects, aspects of her father. The soldier brutalized in war will seek out
    other violent situations — perhaps even making his living as a mercenary — because even though he knows that
    ‘war is hell’, he can’t let it alone. ‘Normal life’ situations seem empty and unreal; nowhere but in the presence of
    bloody violence is he entirely ‘himself. He left part of his soul back on the battlefield and keeps returning to the
    place where he lost it. Only at the scene of the original crime does he feel, for a moment at least, complete.<<<<<<<

    What caught my eye was the concept of how we compulsively return and recreate the trauma that fractured our psyche. Perhaps trying to put the pieces back together and feel whole again. I wonder if that is the reason abductees who don't know they're abductees are unconsciously compelled to investigate ufology. I'm guessing they have unconscious trauma associated with those concepts and the psyche is dragging the personality into ufo territory to heal. I think that has been the case with me.

    • Absolutely. Jung nailed it back in 1959 when he said that the UFO is pointing us (back) to the psyche, to wholeness.

      That’s why the ET hypothesis is not only unnecessary, IMO, but bass-ackward. It’s our own lack of embodiment (earthed-ness) that’s generating these experiences (making them necessary). We see the psyche as alien, other, and from elsewhere because we haven’t allowed it full access to our bodies.

      Then when it tries to come back, we experience that as a potential violation and get roped into the sort of awful scenarios WS describes – a dis-integration in lieu of an integration (though the one may be necessary prelude to the other).

  4. from


    Onrare occasions, individualswho do not have
    a strong enough connection with the divine may
    become susceptible to encounters with seductive
    spirits. These spirits are known as Incubus (male)
    or Succubus (female), and tend to manifest in
    dreams. These dreams can range from the romantic
    and seductive, to rape and sodomy. Although
    these encounters occur during the individual’s
    sleep, physical sensations are always a large part of
    the encounter. Often, once the victim has awakened
    the physical sensations continue.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s